Monday, October 1, 2012

In Which I Get Lectured by Henry Rollins...

I just got lectured by Henry Rollins.

He is performing his spoken word tour tonight in Des Moines at Wooly's and his bus was parked outside the Locust Tap on East 5th. On this tour he is hitting each of the 50 state capitals to talk about Capitalism as a build up to the presidential election on November 6th. I thought it would be a nice gesture to give him a Bigfoot Diaries t-shirt, so I drove down, parked the car and knocked on his bus.

Poster in which Henry signed.

To my surprise, he answered the door personally.

"Hi Henry," I said. "I have a couple gifts for you."

"Um... Are affiliated with the venue in any way?" He asked.


"Ok... Before we go any further let me tell you something. Never EVER fucking knock on a tour bus door, you got that? No matter what, never never never ever fucking knock. It's an unwritten rule. You just don't do that. Ever. Understand?"

"Ok. I'm sorry." I said. "I should have known better."

"I can't emphasize enough... Never." He reiterated.

"Seriously. I am sorry."

"Ok... Whatcha got?" He asked.

"I have two tshirts here" I said. "One is red and one is orange. Both are 2X."

Rollins gave me a stern look. "Do I fucking look like I wear a 2X? Look at me man."

"Well," I said. "You seem bigger on TV... Sorry. They WILL shrink."

"What is it?"

"It's a rock and roll website I run... It's not for profit, something I do for fun." I explained.

(I think Henry smiled)

"Anyway," I continued. "I have a red shirt or an orange one... I would like you to have one. Do you have a choice?"

"I'll take the orange."

"I have a sticker also, with my info written on the back of it. The website, my name, my email, my phone number..."

"There is NO way I'm gonna fucking call you, man."  Henry said, shaking his head.

"That's cool, at least you have it. I want you to have it."

(Awkward pause.)

"Could I get a picture?" I asked.

Henry: (Big sigh.)


(Picture taken.)

Henry Rollins probably wanting to kick my ass.

"Thanks Henry," I said. "I appreciate it and I'm sorry."

"No problem."

I reached out to shake his hand, which he accepted.

"Sorry to bother you." I said. "I hope you have a good time in Des Moines."

He didn't kick my ass.

Just another day in Des Moines....




Subliminally Incognito said...

He is doing spoken word and still trying to be a bad ass.... that makes me giggle.