Monday, December 7, 2009

The NCAA's Contibution to the Apocalypse

This morning I rushed to the news stand to pick up the morning paper.

Yesterday was BCS Sunday, and though I was quite titillated (God I love that word) that Iowa was chosen for the BCS Orange Bowl, I anxiously wanted to know who was chosen to play in the inaugural Yankee Bowl.

Ok... I'm getting a little ahead of myself here...

I thought that this was the inaugural year for the Yankee Bowl. And I was a little miffed that it was never mentioned once during the entire BCS Selection show that aired on Fox last night. It was one of the main reasons I tuned into the commercial-ridden broadcast... The other of course, was to see who Iowa faced in what bowl. That's one hour I will never get back.

First of all I'd like to say that Fox Sports could screw up a two car parade. Any outfit that would employ that dip-shit Terry Bradshaw and surround him with that band of merry retards should be blocked by the FCC.

Secondly, I am glad that he was in no way connected to the BCS broadcast because I would have not watched it.

Thirdly Fox, how many fucking commercials can you shove into a one hour broadcast? The entire show used up about 8 minutes... The rest of the hour consisted of ads for Cialis and Lexus.

And fourth, What about the Yankee Bowl?

Now, I realize that the Yankee Bowl is not a part of the BCS; it is more like a mockery... Of course it wasn't part of the broadcast. It is a renegade bowl game... Copper in a pile of gold... The NCAA's contribution to the apocalypse.

While the Fox Sports announcers are polishing their teeth with talks of sunshine and national championships, the Yankee Bowl sits out in the shadows... Like a big ugly thug in a New York dark alley.

It's the bowl game that pits together two teams that, if scheduled to play in the regular season nobody would watch... But through some weird twist of fate are chosen to compete against each other like Michael Vick's pit bulls. It brings these two teams together in a spectacle of how football was meant to be played... Outside in the frozen weather and without the glitz and glam that comes with the typical college football bowl game. The game has no color... Even in person it appears to be in black and white. Throngs of blood thirsty fans shout for annihilation like spectators at the ancient Rome Coliseum... Snow falls and the blizzardly wind blows...

But, as I just found out, it's not scheduled to be played until next year.

Here is how it plays out, as I read today from the NCAA Football Fanhouse:

The Big East would send its third or fourth selection to New York, while the Big 12 would likely send its seventh selection. The bowl game would be played at the new Yankee Stadium with a seating capacity of about 47,000.

This is the final year of the current bowl cycle with the new cycle running from 2010-13.

Now... When I first heard of this game a couple of months ago, I thought it was to be played this year... So that's the reason I rushed to the news stand this morning. I had to see who made the cut. It would be great to watch a college football bowl game played outside in nature's elements... Even if it was a game between UConn and Baylor.

It'd be the next best thing to the NHL Winter Classic, which this season is being played in Boston at Fenway Park on New Years Day. I would LOVE to go to that... But would settle for the poor man's version... The Yankee Bowl.

The fact that it is not being inducted into the bowl schedule until next year is promising... Because the chance of me going next year seems a hell of a lot better than me being able to swing it this year. Now I have an entire year to plan it out and make the proper provisions to see that it happens. I've never been to Yankee Stadium, old or new, and frankly until now, I really haven't had any desire to go. The Yankees can rot in hell, as far as I am concerned. If the Rapture occurred today, I am certain that the evil empire would be left behind... Along with that bastard Terry Bradshaw and his imbecilic cronies from Fox.

But even in an post-apocalyptic society, I hope Yankee Stadium stands tall amongst the ruins of a battered city... And remains the home of the most renegade college bowl game. Because if I am also left behind, it may be the only joy I will know.

Meanwhile... Go Hawks!

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