Burn After Reading

I was getting ready to post something truly amazing but... Essie can't find her notebook that has everything important in it. That in itself isn't a problem, at least for me, except that while that shenanigan is ensuing, I have absolutely NO ability to concentrate for more than a second or two at a time. She is swooping from room to room in a desperate search, and is obviously super inconvenienced by this tragic loss. Thus, every time I think I am going to begin this post, my attention is quickly diverted back to her and her lurid situation. I tried making a joke to relieve some of her stress. "John Muhammad is going to be executed in 19 minutes and you think you have stress?" It drew a feeble smile, but otherwise didn't make a ripple in the intensity of her search. She was already on her way to the kitchen to search through the silverware drawer again. Jumping at the chance to write with the two-second window she was giving me, I got back into position to start this post. I had thought of the perfect opening line for what I wanted to post about, and I was just about to apply it to words... "I found my jewelry notebook," she said as she rushed into the room. Her voice had a hint of relieved happiness to it but not total elation. "I still can't find the notebook with the kids' Christmas list in it." Her search continued. In an effort to help her out, I felt around on the keyboard shelf that was underneath the desk, just above my knees. The shelf, once slidable (and used) when I had a PC, has been broken for several months now. The slide rail doesn't work anymore and it just sits there sans keyboard. It has become a narrow cave in which things that get left out on the desk too long get shuffled away to. I could feel what was there... A CD without it's case, some loose papers, earphone wires... A pair of dice, my Zippo... Dust... But no notebook. It didn't matter. She was already back in the kitchen. I gathered my thoughts and just about started typing the first words of my amazing post. I was immediately interrupted by Essie again, who came into the room with a bowl and a spoon. Apparently she gave up her search, at least long enough to eat some instant oatmeal... And to talk to me. That was 10 minutes ago. I have no idea what we talked about because I am next to the television and it's volume is about 20% louder than she is when she talks, and I do not read lips. I literally maintained the conversation by reading her face and saying "Ok", and "Cool!" and nodding occasionally, and I was able to do this the entire 9 minutes it took her to eat her oatmeal. Now she is off drawing bath water, and it looks like I will finally have that golden window of time to write this incredible post. The unfortunate thing is... I have absolutely NO idea what I was going to post about.