Thursday, July 14, 2011

SEND IN THE CLOWNS

Lately I have been approached by two different people wanting me to sign a petition. Two different people, two different petitions. As you may well suspect, I proceeded to put as much space between them and I as was possible. I don't recall what the petitions were about but it doesn't matter, I wouldn't sign them no matter what they were about. Even if they're pushing something I can go for,say, arming the homeless,I'm not signing
However, I started thinking about all this and decided that maybe I should come up with my own petition. So I thought about it long and hard, trying to come up with something, and after some extensive soul searching it came to me. So here is my proposition:
All politicians who hold a federal office, whether elected or appointed, and all politicians who are campaigning for a federal office will when performing the duties and function of office, when speaking for or on behalf of office, or when campaigning for office shall wear clown garb. Such garb will consist of baggy clothing, over sized shoes, face paint, wig, and a button nose that honks when squeezed.
Is there anyone out there who would argue with the point that the political class for the most part have become an insufferable lot of arrogant pricks? I realize that most everyone out there will have some politician or two that they like and think are doing a good job, for all I know there may be one out there that I like, but none should be spared from this.
Think of the implications of this. C-span will become at least twice as watchable, Presidential press conferences will start getting decent ratings, and I would actually be happy to see Sarah Palin run for office under these conditions. Think of how great a scene the State of the Union addresses would become. Instead of all the limos and SUV's pulling up to the capital, you would have a bunch of Volkswagen Beetles pull up, filled with members of congress and they would all pile out, giving the spectators some great slapstick moments. Plus the more politicians you can stuff into a vehicle the more gas you save, so its an economy move as well as just plain good sense
By the way, another provision in my said proposal will be that any politician who says some variation of the phrases " I have to get back to doing the work of the American people" or " I have to get back to working for the children" shall be required to follow the statement with honking their nose twice and then members of the crowd should spray the guy or gal with seltzer water, or launch a cream pie in their face. In fact I think that pie throwing and seltzer water spraying should be encouraged as much as possible. Think of the boost to the economy it will be. Pie vendors could rake it in at the next town hall meeting your fave fed politico stages.
Now this may be seen as political commentary but it is not. I theorize that after seeing the political elites parade around in this manner it would lead to small outbreaks of enlightenment. Honk! Honk!

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1 comments:

Len Cleavelin said...

All politicians who hold a federal office, whether elected or appointed, and all politicians who are campaigning for a federal office will when performing the duties and function of office, when speaking for or on behalf of office, or when campaigning for office shall wear clown garb. Such garb will consist of baggy clothing, over sized shoes, face paint, wig, and a button nose that honks when squeezed.

You forgot the unicycle. ;-)