Sunday, March 13, 2011

T.V. TIRADE

Ok. I'm bored, I've been drinking too much, and not much has been catching my interest lately so, here it is. A post in which your humble scribe will proceed to bitch, piss, and moan about the current state of affairs concerning that window to the world, TELEVISION. I can remember back in the day when I was a kid t.v. seemed to be pretty cool. The airwaves were filled with cool cartoons, Japanese monster shows, reruns of great shows, and fun b-movies. What do ya get nowadays but reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond, suck ass reality television, and Japanese Anime. It's pretty sad out there in the idiot box wasteland and if my senses and nerves weren't so shot from all of the external stimulants and booze I'd probably be curled up in the fetal position sucking my thumb due to the pure desolation of it all.
We now have t.v. shows about the storage business. Really? I've seen ads for a new show about movers too. Ok. I worked as a mover for a while and I can tell you first hand that although the work is hard, it sure ain't interesting. Really, what's next, a show about house painters? Or maybe video store clerks, or better yet, guys who are obsessed with Xbox. Why not? Could it be any worse than The Real Housewives of Cucomunga? And how about Ghost Adventures. The show thart answers the unasked question of what would a bunch of punk retards, with delusions of hipness do, if given a tv show. Although it is a great drinking game. Take a drink every time you hear the word "dude" and you will be sensless by the first commercial break.
Well, amidst all of the crap that's out there I have to admit that there are still things I like to watch while sitting back in the recliner after a hard day. Football and Baseball are still pretty good to watch on the tube and I'll be watching the college basketball tournaments although I figure I'll be ripping up my bracket sheet pretty early on as usual. The ESPN Classics channel is also kinda cool even if it is mostly only because of the classic boxing matches that they show. I really do love these especially when they show some of the real old stuff with the greats like Joe Lewis, Rocky Marciano, Floyd Patterson, and of course, Mohammad Ali.
There are some cool shows on those retro channels like Peter Gunn, The Outer Limits, (which although I may be committing blasphemy here, I think the show is even better than The Twilight Zone) and some pretty good older movies. They also show some of the current Horror Movie Hosts that still show the old schlocky (i.e. best) fright films which is something that will most definitely find a warm place in my heart.
As far as new t.v. goes however, there isn't that much that grabs me. I do like Man Vs Food. That guy Adam Richman is a pretty personable character and man do I wish I had his job. Travel around the country to cool restaurants and eat great food. The guy is truly blessed. I also like No Reservations. I kinda think that Anthony Bourdain comes across as somewhat of an arrogant prick at times, but I somehow find myself compelled to watch this show. Bourdain did say that the Stooges Funhouse album was his trapped on a deserted island pick, and you know that nobody from the cast of Jersey Shore could be that cool.
The other channel that I get a lot of mileage out of is Turner Classic Movies. I gotta say that I really do dig this network. They show a lot of great film nior, classic comedies, horror, whatever. It's probably the thing I watch the most, and I may not even have cable at all if it wasn't for this station. I mean you can always go down to the bar and watch the game, but at 3:00 am and your battling a bad case of insomnia, feeling the need for some old black and white gem from the 30's or 40's to ease your mind, but your too lazy to slap in a dvd, well TCM might just be there for ya more often than not.
My future plans are to get rid of cable and get myself an internet tv. With a subscription to netflix, youtube, and the bar down the block for gameday, all of my television needs would be met. Better yet, maybe I could spend more time writing good stuff instead of drunken, half assed ramblings like this pointless post. Then again, probably not.

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