Sunday, October 3, 2010

From the BD Editorial Board: Respecting the Y

The other day I noticed that the word RHYTHM does not contain one single vowel. Not a one. And don't give me that crap about the letter "Y" being a vowel. It's not.

Now... Before you start to defend your argument, think about this: I know the little jingle. In fact I learned it in first grade, long before these dingbats made it into an MTV video.

Miss Gardner, my first grade teacher told the class, "Every single word in the English language has a vowel in it. It either has an A, an E, an I, an O, or a U... Or in some cases, a Y!"

A-E-I-O-U and sometimes Y.

Yeah. Whatever. Exploit the letter Y when it's convenient to support an argument. Even if that means giving it "sometimes" status.

That really bothers me.

In my opinion, the letter Y is a vowel, or it isn't. It shouldn't be that hard to differentiate vowel status. Just because it happens to show up in every word that doesn't have a full-time vowel in it, it gets part time status? There are a ton of words with multiple vowels in them... It doesn't make sense, nor is it fair that the letter Y doesn't get the respect it rightfully deserves.

If it isn't listed along with the full time vowels: A-E-I-O-U... Then it isn't as vowel. Period! Giving it "sometimes" status alongside the other vowels is degrading and humiliating.

"We don't need you around unless we can't get another vowel to make the word complete." Is what we are essentially saying.

No wonder the letter Y has issues with low self esteem.

Night isn't sometimes Day... A Cat isn't sometimes a Horse. Why would this logic be different with letters of the alphabet? What an uproar there would be if we treated humans this way!

All I am saying is that I hope that the letter Y doesn't get pissed off and quit. If it does, we are all screwed, because there goes the days of the week, and most months of the year. Not to mention the billion dollar discrimination lawsuit that the ACLU will bring against us.

We need to revise the English language, and we need to do it fast.

We can't afford to lose the letter Y.