KONG SKULL ISLAND: Don't EVEN Think About Not Seeing this Fucking Movie!

We might as well cancel Christmas. When history is finished with 2017, Kong Skull Island will have been the greatest thing to have happened this year.

In the early '70s during the end of the Viet Nam War, Preston Packard, played by Samuel Jackson, is a US Army Lieutenant Colonel who suddenly finds himself at the end of a war and without a mission. 

Well, for his sins they gave him one.

As the leader of the Sky Devils helicopter squadron, Packard's final mission is to escort a small group of explorers to Skull Island, an uncharted mass of land that until new satellite imagery uncovered it's existence deep in the Pacific Ocean, had gone undetected. The group of explorers is led by Bill Randa, played by John Goodman, who secured the excursion with the help of a prominent senator. The senator feared that if he didn't send Randa, the Russians using their own technology would find and lay claim to the island's vast ecosystem and natural resources, making them unavailable to the United States. 

A massive perpetual storm constantly surrounds the island, and for the most part, it's violent enough to keep ships and aircraft away from it's shores. Anybody who might have landed on the island - or as the case may be, crashed into it's beaches during a WW2 dogfight - has never made it back to the mainland to tell it's story. (spoiler alert - insert John C. Riley) But Randa is persistent, and with the determination of Lieutenant Packard they, along with Packard's helicopter squadron, hammer through the storm and make it to the beautiful shores of Skull Island. The flight through the storm is a bit lackluster compared to what one might expect, but let's just say that the storm is the calm before the real storm that's about to happen.

Of course the squadron immediately encounters Kong, and if history has taught us anything about this mammoth ape, it's that he absolutely despises aircraft. Especially aircraft that is dropping bombs and shooting at him. People began to die rather quickly on Skull Island.

"You shouldn't have come here." 

Now I'm not about to spoil the rest of the story, but let's just say that things get extremely violent right away and pretty much stay that way right up until the final scene.

Kong isn't the only menace that our heroes (and villains) encounter. There are giant spiders to deal with, humongous mutant lizard-like creatures that are pure evil, blood-thirsty pterodactyls, bats, insects, giant octopus and at one point it appears that our group of explorers is about to be wiped out by an enormous charging water buffalo. Not to mention the spooky tribe of natives that paint themselves to blend into their surroundings...

Go see the movie. Unpredictability, creative violence and impossible imagery makes for great adventure, but it truly has to be seen to be appreciated. And just when you think that your visual intake can't get any more epic than it already is, you are rewarded with the greatest fight scene in the history of cinema.



Seriously, go watch this movie. Then, cancel Christmas.