R is for Redneck

Evey once in awhile a trip into town renders a chance meeting with some of the local folks which is always a delight, because of how ass-backward their perception of life is. I was pumping gas into the old Metro last night and heard a bass-thumpin stereo. That in itself wasn't unusual. The kids often deck their cars out with expensive speakers, and it's common to hear one of these high schoolers driving down the street with his shaded windows up and the bass a thumpin'. I always enjoy this actually, because you know in that kid's world he is the coolest cat in the country. Hell, we all need that chance in our life to be cool. So this feller last night drove into the gas station parking lot with his bass a thumpin'. I could see through his windows and this wasn't a kid. It was a middle aged man, bald, no tint on his windows. He had his stereo up very loud with his bass dial set to the highest level. The White GT he was driving was stylish... Nice mags... But as he opened his car door to pump his own gas, it became very clear he was just a bit um... Well, the word poser comes to mind. This guy missed his chance to be cool a long time ago. It wasn't 50 Cent or Too Short that was rockin' the bass from his speaker box... It was Toby Keith. Sorry pal... You just lost all street cred. And this is for you: